Captain Phillips (2013)

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Captain Phillips is a movie about a small group of Somali pirates who grow increasingly violent over the amount of sweat pouring out of Tom Hanks's man-boobs. There's an adorable little yellow lifeboat we spend some time in. Despite the guns and peril held inside of it, I giggled gleefully each time its exterior was shown. The score is dreadful, essentially an amalgam of every action thriller score thrust upon us in the 90s.

Tom Hanks, his goatee, and his sweat glands all turn in strong performances. Previous Unknown and Soon to Be Unknown Again Barkhad Abdi does an adequate job as the svelte head pirate who does a stunning Blue Steel every time his mouth is closed.

You know what's going to happen in this movie, even if you didn't follow the news story. Watch it with your most dudely of friends; he'll probably quite enjoy it



Captain Phillips is the story of a Captain named Phillips who takes a large freight ship through Somali waters in the Indian Ocean and gets taken hostage by Somali pirates. Though very well made, this film is little more than exactly what you'd expect: a thrilling and tense hijacker movie.

Where Captain Phillips becomes more profound is in its political aspects. We are given a brief insight into the lives of the Somali "villains" so that we may begin to understand their point of view. As a result, a delicate line is walked in which both of the opposing forces are victimized. Ultimately, American Naval forces enter and we realize these four impoverished Somali pirates never truly stood a chance in their tiny sputtering motorboat against the might of the USA.

The acting in the film is well executed but merely adequate. Tom Hanks as Captain Phillips is pretty Tom Hansky. His performance is really only taken to an elevated level at the end of the film when he is put in a devastating position. He plays this final act with a convincingly desperate and anguishing tone necessary to drive home the point of the film.

The scoring in the film feels under sophisticated and overly functional. It makes one feel as though one is watching a network television show. Despite its shortcomings, Captain Phillips is an exhilarating ride that also manages to slightly challenge our global perspectives.